Accountability – Are You Walking Your Talk?
I’ve been thinking about accountability and walking our talk. This came to mind mulling over a dating situation I am navigating through. I thought about how I am dealing with it as opposed to how I would advise a friend to deal with it. What would I tell a friend whose buttons are being pushed by someone that doesn’t even know there are any buttons?
Why is this bringing up emotions?
What is your intention for moving forward?
Often, we react in our fight or flight fear mode making the situation more dramatic than it really is. We suspect that our feelings or heart is being threatened and we react without thinking. In my experience, this makes the situation worse. I have said things during these times I haven’t meant to regain my balance, or to get a reaction to immediately appease myself. The problem with this is:
1. The other person likely doesn’t even know they pushed a button.
2. What is that “power play” really going to do for you?
Nothing! But make the situation worse and the other person confused or hurt. Then you feel shitty for reacting and hurting the other person.
“Are you walking your talk?” I asked myself during my snap reaction to a text. I wanted to reply to being triggered- without thinking it through. I initially wanted to get a little jab in or a quick reply to ease the irritation (dangers of texting!). I caught myself and thought about the things I would kindly tell a friend to do and let myself settle in to that place. I would want the best for a friend and would tell them to:
1. Take a step back and gain clarity.
2. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt.
3. Think about what their own intention is to stay authentic.
I decided to take that advice and treat myself as a friend – what a novel idea! 😉 I sat with the uncomfortable feeling of what was triggering me and figured out what I was in a huff about. I decided on my intention of being kind and compassionate, followed by actions that supported that. Besides sitting with the initial discomfort of my own baggage, it felt great to handle things in a thoughtful way. I not only honored myself but the other person as well.
Are you checking in with yourself frequently to see if YOU are staying accountable to yourself?
Are you DOING what you are SAYING?
Next time that fear and rush of emotion from being triggered happens, take some time to think about what you would tell a great friend to do. You are worth the same loving advice and treatment.
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